Dear Paul,
This letter must be damn important cuz I'm trying to scribble it while squeezed between a girl, her school book and the side of the train.
Anywho, I really wanted to reach out and thank you for the $1.50 per week raise that your trillion dollar (trillion and a half actually but what's five hunnit million between frenz?) tax cut has brought me. I swear couldn't be more thrilled!
Since I know it matters to you, I and folks like me matter to you, and you want to have #TaxScamErBreak success stories to tweet, let me tell you what I'm about to do with those precious coins.
First, I'm thinking about buying a house. Who am I kidding? No. I'm not going to buy a house. It's a buck fiddy a week.
You know of course, that home ownership is the way in which the White middle class of the 1950s was able to build wealth. Of course you know this, your parents did it! Other groups weren't as lucky as you cuz, yunno, colored and all, they didn't work hard enough. These days though, it seems no matter how hard some of us work, $1.50 is all we get for our labors. Don't get me wrong though, I'm very grateful. (Gotta keep saying that lest you take back those coins!)
While the princely sum of six whole additional dollars a month is terrific (again, my gratitude is deep and abiding), it's unfortunately not going to be quite sufficient to enable me to buy a home. Perhaps if I had been a nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, ninety and ninety-four dollar-aire, this six bucks would have made me a millionaire, but unfortunately, that's not the case. My million is further away than six dollars.
This six dollars won't ee'm allow me to move to a slightly larger apartment. I know that's not what the goal of the tax break was (what was the goal again, I forget?), but I will be able to spend that extra moneyh on one more cup of joe from Starbucks so woo hoo! Or maybe one more gallon of milk? Less "Woo hoo!" but a good thing nonetheless.
Next, I'll be able to send my eldest to college. Yeah, no, that's not happening either. Shucks!
I've been trying to save to get her into the nearby state school, but with in-state tuition routinely running nearly $10,000 a year, and Pell and other need-based financial aid taking hit after hit, that's not looking too hopeful either. But hey, six bucks right? I ain't sneezin' at them six bucks you gave me!
Third, I will at least be able to fix my car....... sigh, I just got the quote from my mechanic. Yeah, that's gonna take closer to six hundred than six.
I'm currently in need of a tire and a number of other things and while my gratitude for your $78 per annum tax break knows no bounds, I'm reliably informed that the mechanic won't accept *gratitude* as a form of payment. Additionally, given the stare of roads in my state, I suspect I'll be needing some shocks any day now. They don't take honorable mention in the Speaker of the House's tweets as payment for shocks either. I know this for a fact cuz I checked.
This is America after all, and he who pays the piper calls the tune. I can barely pay my rent, how could I expect to pay a piper? Or a politician?
I could probably point out how much guys like the Koch's, your proud sponsors, realized in just the first week (some serious ROI for the measly $500,000 donated to your 're-election' effort) but that might strike some as either churlishness or jealousy. Actually, it's neither. I am not them and they are not me. I have no right to expect the same recompense for my one measly vote that they wholly appropriately receive for their millions of dollars in support. This makes perfect sense to me.
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| from Americans for Tax Fairness |
Anyway, thanks. I thank you. Starbucks thanks you. Starbucks thanks you twice in fact, first for the cut taxes and then again for transferring my six dollars in relief to their pocket. So much winning...even if not for me. I can't wait for whatever you and the Koch's have lined up for me next! Lifetime caps on Medicaid perhaps? Woo hoo! Can't wait!
Signed,
Nickeled and dimed in PA
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