One mani too many

I'm currently re-reading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers - The Story of Success. In it, Gladwell suggests that none of us achieves success alone, but that we are indebted to parentage and patronage for what we learn of work and effort and their possible rewards. Following Gladwell then and based on my experience in the hair salon today, I'm moved to ask: what parenting influences can you easily list that account for your current money practices? And, following on from that, which ones would you teach/are you teaching  your children? Were there any lessons worth teaching and if so, are you making it a habit now to model that behavior for others in your family?

Here's why I ask. Today is Saturday, a day famous among women of color for the hours we spend in the hair salon. Typically, I spend my time in the chair chatting with my hairdresser about money. She desperately wants to own a home, but she doesn't really have a plan. So we usually talk about saving and frugality, two of my favorite past times. Today was no different.

As I was leaving though, I saw something in the shop that gave me pause: three teenagers, none of them over 15, having mani-pedis. I wondered to myself, "What is that likely to teach them about money priorities going forward?" Now, I appreciate that I am not of this age where manicures are apparently de rigueur for 15 year old girls, but I do have to ask, when you get a teen started on the ritual of the mani-pedi at 15, where does that end up? I also wondered who might be paying for this Saturday morning treat. [Answer: the parent. There was an exchange over buying flip flops for which the teen offered to pay so clearly she wasn't paying for the rest of the visit.] I also asked myself how often the treat was offered and whether these young ladies had to do anything to earn this outing? If you're thinking it wasn't any of my business, be assured, I thought that too but still.................

I would hardly want to inflict my personal manicure-for-interviews, pedicure-only-a-little-more-frequently standard on anyone else, but at the very least shouldn't we be mindful that these kinds of treats build up in impressionable minds a set of standards which they may be hard pressed to sustain? If the standard is: you do this, you get that, then fine. But if the standard is: you just have to be and stuff comes your way, that's a dangerous way to go.

The one thing I had hoped everyone would have learned from this awful economy is that playing fast and loose with money has nasty and long lasting consequences. Teaching children/young people anything other than extremely careful management of financial resources is a recipe for disaster. Don't believe me? Check the foreclosure stats for 2008, 2009 and 2010. Throwing money away on perishables/consumables is a bad idea. I'm not for a moment suggesting that we never treat ourselves, but rather that we do so while holding in mind our long term money goals. Bank it, don't waste it. And yes, I do think that weekly pedicures are a waste....unless of course, you're coming to my Day Spa because you can be assured I will be banking it when you do stop by!